Alright, my fellow young Muslim Gen Z squad, let’s talk about something most of us probably don’t think about until our mom yells at us to take the chicken out of the freezer: our parents. Yep, the two people who can both annoy you endlessly and yet hold your world together. The Quran has a lot to say about this relationship, and spoiler alert: it’s about way more than obeying them (though, yeah, that’s in there too).
So, grab your chai latte, take a deep breath, and let’s dive into what the Quran teaches us about building and maintaining healthy relationships with our parents, with a little humor and practicality sprinkled in, of course.
The Ultimate Throwback Commandment: Be Good to Your Parents
The Quran repeatedly tells us to honor and care for our parents. Take this verse as an example:
“And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.” (Surah Luqman: 14)
Translation in Gen Z terms: Your mom literally put her body through the wringer for you, and your dad (or whoever played that role) probably made sacrifices too. The least you can do is be grateful and treat them kindly.
Let’s not lie to ourselves: gratitude can be hard when your mom’s lecturing you for 45 minutes about the 0.0001% battery you let your phone get to. But Islam teaches us that gratitude isn’t just a feeling; it’s an action. Start by saying “thank you” for the little things, like that plate of biryani your dad dropped off in your room even though he claimed he wasn’t going to spoil you anymore.
Yes, Even When They’re Wrong (But…)
Okay, here’s the part where things get tricky. What if your parents are…wrong? (Gasp! No way, right?) The Quran does acknowledge this possibility:
“But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness.” (Surah Luqman: 15)
So, if your parents tell you to do something that goes against Islam, you’re not obligated to listen. But key point here, you’re still supposed to treat them with kindness. No eye rolls, no storming out of the room like a Netflix drama queen.
What does “appropriate kindness” look like? Think boundaries. Respectfully express your viewpoint while still honoring their role in your life. Example:
Mom: “Beta, why don’t you just lie about your availability to that nosy auntie? It’s easier.”
You: “Mom, I love you, but honesty is important to me. How about I just politely tell her I’m busy?”
Boom. You’ve upheld your values and stayed respectful. 10/10 sunnah vibes.
Communication Is Sunnah Too
Newsflash: parents are not mind-readers. (Shocking, I know.) Sometimes, they don’t know how much you’re juggling with school, work, and trying to maintain a decent Quran memorization streak on top of it all. The Quran emphasizes gentleness and mercy in speech, and trust me, this works both ways.
“And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, ‘My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.'” (Surah Al-Isra: 24)
Lowering the “wing of humility” doesn’t mean groveling like you’re in a telenovela. It’s more about ditching the sarcasm and adopting a tone that says, “Hey, I respect you even if we’re not on the same page right now.”
For example:
Instead of: “You never understand me!”
Try: “I know you care, but here’s how I’m feeling.”
Small shifts can make a big difference in how conversations flow.
Practical Tips for a Healthier Parent-Child Relationship
- Initiate Check-ins: Instead of waiting for your parents to ask why you’ve been a ghost, pop into the living room or call them up. Say hi. Share a funny TikTok (bonus points if it’s halal humor).
- Acts of Service: Sometimes actions speak louder than words. Help your mom in the kitchen, or take your dad’s car for a wash. These small gestures scream “I appreciate you” without you having to say it. (Especially if you’re emotionally constipated like some of us.)
- Dua Is Your Superpower: Never underestimate the power of praying for your parents. It’s literally one of the best gifts you can give them. Even if they’re driving you up the wall, that dua might just soften your heart and theirs.
- Set Boundaries with Love: If you’re overwhelmed, it’s okay to let them know (respectfully!) that you need space. But do it with kindness. Example: “Mom, I’d love to chat more, but I need to focus on this assignment. Let’s talk at dinner?”
In Conclusion: It’s a Journey, Not a Sprint
Relationships with parents are beautifully complex, just like every other part of life. The Quran gives us the ultimate blueprint for handling this with grace, gratitude, and a healthy dose of patience. Are you going to get it right 100% of the time? No way. (And that’s okay; you’re human.)
But if you approach your parents with the intention of pleasing Allah, treating them with kindness even when it’s hard, and balancing respect with honest communication, you’ll be golden. And hey, you might just avoid a “Why don’t you ever call me” guilt trip while you’re at it.
Now go hug your mom, text your dad, and don’t forget to take that chicken out of the freezer. May Allah bless your efforts and make this relationship a source of barakah in your life. Ameen!